Letting go of the past is a challenge for everyone. In some cases, past events make it very difficult for you to let go in your present life. However, some lingering past situations can affect you physically and mentally. Letting go of the past will help you forget the hurt caused in the past and make you feel more comfortable in your present life.
1. Why is it difficult to let go of the past?
Life experiences affect people in many different ways. Some people find it easier to continue with work and daily life after a difficult experience, while others find that these experiences have a lasting impact on their mental health. .
People who do struggle to let go of specific past events may have experienced trauma. Trauma is a type of psychological wound that can result from any traumatic experience, such as loss, danger, or deep shame.
Often, people associate trauma with participating in a violent event, such as war. However, past activities can affect everyone without exception. The suffering caused by past events can also change people’s way of thinking.
Some people experience mind-bending thoughts about problems that happened in the past or a tendency to overthink the same things.
However, rumination can make problem solving more difficult, thereby preventing people from moving forward. This is also a common feature of depression , obsessive -compulsive disorder , generalized anxiety disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). People may also hold on to the past for other reasons. For example, they may long for positive experiences that are now past or dwell on past events because of an unconscious desire to avoid being hurt now or in the future.
2. 12 ways to let go of the past
2.1. Create a positive mantra to combat painful thoughts
How to let go of the past? The way you talk to yourself can keep you moving forward or stuck. Often, there is a mantra you tell yourself during times of emotional pain that can help you reframe your thinking.
For example, clinical psychologist Carla Manly suggests that instead of getting stuck on a problem, you can say “I can’t believe that happened to me!” but you can try a positive mantra such as, “I am lucky to be able to find a new path in life – one that is good for me.”
2.2. Create physical distance
It’s not uncommon to hear someone say that you should distance yourself from them or that a situation may be going on that makes you uncomfortable. According to clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula, that’s not a bad practice. Creating physical or psychological distance between ourselves and another person or situation can help us let go of unpleasant past issues for the simple reason that we don’t have to think about it, deal with it, or deal with it. it or being reminded of it.

2.3. Do your own thing
Focusing on yourself is important when you want to let go of sad things from the past. You must make choices to address the trauma you have experienced. When you think about someone who has caused you pain, bring yourself back to the present. Then, focus on something that you feel brings you the best comfort
2.4. Practice mindfulness
The more you can focus on the present moment, the less your past or future will affect your life and work, says Lisa Olivera, a marriage and family therapist. .
When you start practicing mindfulness , your pain will control you less, and you will have more freedom to choose how we want to react to our lives.
2.5. Be gentle with yourself
How to let go of the past? If your first reaction to your past activities and inability to overcome painful circumstances is to criticize yourself, it’s time to show yourself kindness and compassion. my body.
Olivera says this is like treating ourselves the same way we would a friend, providing ourselves with compassion and avoiding comparisons between our own journeys and those of others. .
Injury is inevitable, and you may not be able to avoid pain; However, you can choose to be kind and loving when it happens.
2.6. Allow negative emotions to flow
If you’re afraid of feeling negative emotions that are keeping you away from them, don’t worry. Instead of feeling these negative emotions, people simply try to avoid them, which can disrupt the letting go process. These negative emotions are like riptides and you let them come out of you… That may require mental health intervention.
2.7. Accept that the other person may not apologize
Waiting for an apology from the person or partner who hurt you will slow down the process of letting go. If you are experiencing trauma and pain, it is important that you take care of your own healing. Then you have to accept that the person who hurt you will not apologize.
2.8. Engage in self-care
When you’re hurt, it often feels like there’s nothing else but hurt. Psychologists say practicing self-care can look like setting boundaries, saying no, doing things that bring you joy and comfort, and listening to your own needs. body first.
The better you can implement self-care into your daily life, the more empowered you will be.

2.9. Connect with friends
Simple yet powerful tips that can help you overcome many hurts when you make connections with those around you. You can’t live alone and you can’t expect yourself to get through your pain alone. So allowing yourself to lean on loved ones and their support is a great way to not only limit isolation but also remind you of the good things in your own life. Friend.
2.10. Allow yourself to talk about things from the past
When you are facing painful feelings or a situation that could hurt you, it is important to give yourself permission to talk about these things. Psychiatrists say that sometimes people cannot let go of the past because they feel they are not allowed to talk about it.
But saying these things is important. That’s why experts recommend finding a friend or therapist who is patient and accepting and willing to be your partner.
2.11. Open up and allow forgiveness for yourself
Since waiting for your partner to apologize can stall the process of letting go, you may have to work on forgiving yourself. Forgiveness is important to the healing process because it allows you to let go of anger, guilt, shame, sadness, or any other feelings you may be experiencing and move on. now and future.
2.12. Seek professional help
If you are struggling to let go of a painful experience, you may benefit from talking to a psychologist. Sometimes, it’s difficult to do these tips yourself, and you need an experienced professional to help guide you through the process.
Letting go of the past or letting go of past hurts requires you to make a conscious decision to take control of the situation. However, this can take time and practice. Furthermore, you should be kind to yourself as you refocus how you view the situation and celebrate the small victories you have.
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